again

diary
i cannot sleep i have to see shug when he comes in through the window. HAVE TO BE READY.
I have thought a great deal about my life i am aging without my own permission.I believe when he comes to take me,i will either leave homeand return harmed although satisfyed by the death of an enemy,OR I WILL NEVER RETURN.And in death admit silently i knew not of my visitors strength or will.
For now i am half numb half raw.A girl who still manages to rise each morning and exit the placei lately must be reminded is called home.As if nothing is wrong.
Ido not doubt that shug is aware of my every movement.that this horror wh calls himself a man sits up high.
Itry each day to memorise the face that looks back at me in the mirror.I HOLD TIGHT TO IT.I IMAGINE ILL BE IN FLIGHT WHEN I COMPARE IT TO MY REMAINS that i often dream will be found.
His time is the evening the hour during which rescue is least possible,
i sit awaiting his arrival kept awke by the notion that i shall be accustomed to the dark far easier than he to the light.

k.