no date

Dear Diary,Its very late at night and i cant sleep.I have had nightmare after nightmare so ive finally chosen to avoid sleep altogether.Ithink Maddy will be tired from her long trip here anyway so ill have a nap with her when she arrives.Maybe when the sky is light ill be able to sleep better, and my dreams wont be so dark and scary.

One of them was just awful.Iwoke up crying,and i was afraid mum would come downstairs to see what was wrong if she heard me,and i just wanted to be alone,and she wouldnt understand that.She always comes in singing"waltzing matilda" to me when i cant sleep,or like tonightwhen i have baddreams.Its not that i dont want to hear her sing to me, its just that there is a strange man in my dreamsinging just that same songin mums voice and i dont mind teling you it frightens the shite out of me!!!!!

In the dream i was walking through woods out by the barrhead damm ,and there was this very strong wind,but only around me.It was hot.The wind.And about twenty feet away from me there was this man with long hair and very large , callused hands.They were very rough and he held them out to me as he sang.His beard didnt blow in the windbecause the wind was only around me.The tips of his thumbswere as black as coal and he wiggled them in circles and his hands got closer to me. I keptwaking towards him,even though i didnt want to at all because he scared me so much.#

He said "i have your cat" and lucky ran behind him and off into the woods like a little speckle of dirt on a piece of paper.He just kept singing and i tried to tell himi wanted to go home just get my cat and go home,but i couldnt talk.Then he lifted his hands up in the air very very high,like he was growing bigger and taller by the minute,and as his hand went up,i felt the wind around me stop and it went silent.I thought that he was letting me go because he could read my mind,atleast it felt that way.And so when he stopped the wind with his hands like that,i thought he was letting me free, letting me go home.Then i had to look down because there was this heat between my legs, not nice warm, but hot.It burned me me so i had to spread my legs so they would stop burning,so so hot.And they started spreading by themselves like they were going to snap off my body,and i thought im going to die.Itried to keep my legs closed but thy were still opening by themselves.He was still singing youll come a waltzing matilda with me.I tried to talk again but i couldnt.And i woke up.

I am so tired of waiting to grow up i think im big enough just now i guess some day it will happen
ill talk to you tomorow im really extremly tired now
k.

p.s i hope shug dont come tonight.